"God you pursue me with power and glory. Unstoppable love that never ends"
I struggle daily with the urge to compare myself with those around me. I believe many can relate to such a struggle and pain to feel that you are not worthy or comparable enough. For months I have been diving into the word, getting more connected with my church, and learning to create time for myself and with God. These past few weeks though was a test to all my work.
There is part of me that wants to say I have failed the past few months then there is the other part of me that says if I was going through this same type of a situation months of go I would have cried woe is me and sought out the pity of others.
I believe our relationship with God is like a garden we have to tend and put work into our garden to be able to see the fruit of our work. We most sow seeds to see growth in our own garden and realize someone will always "have it better than we do," but if we can learn to look at our own gardens for the beauty they hold we will find contentment and peace more abundantly where we grow.
The past couple of weeks I have found myself stumbling in my obedience to God. I allowed the enemy to walk in and have a hand at my attitude and out look towards others when I should have been focused on other things. I allowed him to make me doubt my path and future all because I was focusing on the things happening in others lives at the moment instead of focused on the things God was doing right in my own garden.
I have found myself feeling defeated because I look at the girls around me and see they have found a man that pursues them daily and loves them unconditionally. They take the most beautiful trips. They seem to have their lives figured out. CONT. BELOW:
//This week in particular I share the joy in the fact that my little sister, best friend, and one of my biggest inspirations got engaged to the love of her life. She has found the one she wishes to spend the rest of her life with. With the engagement comes the monotonous small talk of congratulations from others and what I would consider the most tacky of questions, "Is it weird that your little sister is getting married before you are?" If you all must know until this moment I had never thought twice about it. There was always a part of me that knew my younger sister would get married before me she has always had a more family focused future where mine had been geared more towards school and career. As I sat and had more and more people start to ask me that question I started to question myself and where I was in life. And for what purpose? I was allowing others and the enemy to affect me in a way that I feel took away from some of the excitement for my sister and her next great chapter. I allowed myself to put the blame of others on my upset when I had brought it upon myself by not staying focused and being reminded that God has a plan for me I need only be still and He shall reveal to me.//
CONT.:
When in reality I gave my life to someone who continues to pursue me daily no matter how I look, no matter how bad I mess up, or no matter how defeated I feel. I allowed myself to be consumed by issues that are momentary and superficial. I forgot what the bigger purpose was here and that's to serve a God who's graces are more than we can ever understand. To serve a God who sent his only son so that you and I could sit here today and write a post like this and talk about a man like that. This season of life is just that, a season and as we know seasons are constantly changing and different than the last. Moving forward I hold on to the fact that I put my joy and faith into the love God has for me. I find myself realizing I'm exactly where I'm suppose to be according to Gods plan and that through prayer, worship, and His word it will only be revealed more and more to me I need only be obedient.
Psalm 63:1 “You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water"
XO,
M.K.M
No comments:
Post a Comment